In a victory for common sense and coastal traditions, a judge has dismissed PETA’s latest publicity stunt—a lawsuit against Maine’s iconic Lobster Festival, accusing organizers of animal cruelty in their lobster-cooking practices. The animal rights group, never one to shy away from courtroom theatrics, claimed the festival’s boils violated Maine’s animal welfare laws, seeking to shut down the event that draws thousands for its celebration of fresh seafood and New England heritage. But the court saw through the vegan activism, ruling that lobsters don’t qualify as sentient beings under state statutes, effectively swatting away PETA’s overreach like a pesky mosquito at a clambake.

This isn’t just a win for lobster lovers; it’s a blueprint for how fringe activists’ legal warfare gets neutered when judges prioritize facts over feelings. PETA’s playbook mirrors the relentless lawsuits from gun-control groups like Everytown or Giffords, who flood courts with dubious claims to demonize 2A rights—think challenges to range operations as nuisance or Second Amendment sanctuaries as unconstitutional. Just as Maine’s ruling affirms that not every boil is a barbaric act, 2A victories like the Supreme Court’s Bruen decision remind us that self-defense tools aren’t assault weapons but tools of liberty. The implications are clear: when courts demand evidence over emotion, activists lose, whether it’s defending a pot of crustaceans or a concealed carry permit.

For the 2A community, this lobster liberation is a rallying cry—stand firm against manufactured outrage, support local traditions under siege, and keep piling on those precedents. Next time PETA or the Brady bunch comes knocking, we’ll be ready with butter, not ballots, proving that real Americans won’t let ideologues steamroll our way of life. Pass the bibs; freedom tastes better with a side of schadenfreude.