U.S. Virgin Islands Attorney General Uses Bizarre Defense in Response to DOJ Lawsuit Over Gun Laws

February 7, 2026
8:30 am

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In a move that's equal parts audacious and absurd, the U.S. Virgin Islands Attorney General has rolled out a defense in a federal lawsuit from the Department of Justice that feels like it was scripted by a bad legal thriller writer. The DOJ is challenging the territory's draconian gun laws—think mandatory smart gun tech, microstamping requirements, and a laundry list of restrictions that make owning a firearm feel like applying for a moon landing permit. Rather than defending these measures on constitutional grounds, the AG's bizarre pivot? Arguing that the Second Amendment doesn't fully apply to U.S. territories because they're not states. It's a territorial twist on the infamous Insular Cases from over a century ago, where the Supreme Court basically said non-mainland U.S. lands get a diluted version of constitutional protections. Clever? Maybe in a law school debate. Effective? About as much as a screen door on a submarine. This isn't just island fever; it's a symptom of a deeper anti-2A fever gripping progressive enclaves, even in America's own backyard. The Virgin Islands' laws echo failed schemes in places like California and New York, where tech mandates and registration nightmares have been struck down repeatedly by federal courts (hello, Bruen and its text, history, and tradition hammer). By dusting off colonial-era precedents, the AG is betting on judicial amnesia, hoping SCOTUS's recent 2A renaissance—like in Rahimi or Garland v. Cargill—won't extend offshore. Spoiler: it will. The implications for the 2A community are massive. A win here reinforces that the right to keep and bear arms is a national birthright, not a mainland luxury, potentially torpedoing similar overreaches in Puerto Rico, Guam, and beyond. It also spotlights how DOJ under a pro-2A administration is finally wielding its muscle offshore, signaling to blue-city tyrants that no jurisdiction is an island. Gun owners nationwide should cheer this lawsuit as a frontline battle in the post-Bruen wars. If the feds prevail, expect ripple effects: dismantled registries, nuked tech mandates, and a blueprint for challenging territorial end-runs around the Bill of Rights. For the 2A community, it's a reminder to stay vigilant—donate to the cause, amplify the story, and keep the pressure on. The AG's Hail Mary might make for viral memes, but it won't rewrite the Constitution. Islands or not, shall not be infringed means *everywhere* under the Stars and Stripes.

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In a move that’s equal parts audacious and absurd, the U.S. Virgin Islands Attorney General has rolled out a defense in a federal lawsuit from the Department of Justice that feels like it was scripted by a bad legal thriller writer. The DOJ is challenging the territory’s draconian gun laws—think mandatory smart gun tech, microstamping requirements, and a laundry list of restrictions that make owning a firearm feel like applying for a moon landing permit. Rather than defending these measures on constitutional grounds, the AG’s bizarre pivot? Arguing that the Second Amendment doesn’t fully apply to U.S. territories because they’re not states. It’s a territorial twist on the infamous Insular Cases from over a century ago, where the Supreme Court basically said non-mainland U.S. lands get a diluted version of constitutional protections. Clever? Maybe in a law school debate. Effective? About as much as a screen door on a submarine.

This isn’t just island fever; it’s a symptom of a deeper anti-2A fever gripping progressive enclaves, even in America’s own backyard. The Virgin Islands’ laws echo failed schemes in places like California and New York, where tech mandates and registration nightmares have been struck down repeatedly by federal courts (hello, Bruen and its text, history, and tradition hammer). By dusting off colonial-era precedents, the AG is betting on judicial amnesia, hoping SCOTUS’s recent 2A renaissance—like in Rahimi or Garland v. Cargill—won’t extend offshore. Spoiler: it will. The implications for the 2A community are massive. A win here reinforces that the right to keep and bear arms is a national birthright, not a mainland luxury, potentially torpedoing similar overreaches in Puerto Rico, Guam, and beyond. It also spotlights how DOJ under a pro-2A administration is finally wielding its muscle offshore, signaling to blue-city tyrants that no jurisdiction is an island.

Gun owners nationwide should cheer this lawsuit as a frontline battle in the post-Bruen wars. If the feds prevail, expect ripple effects: dismantled registries, nuked tech mandates, and a blueprint for challenging territorial end-runs around the Bill of Rights. For the 2A community, it’s a reminder to stay vigilant—donate to the cause, amplify the story, and keep the pressure on. The AG’s Hail Mary might make for viral memes, but it won’t rewrite the Constitution. Islands or not, shall not be infringed means *everywhere* under the Stars and Stripes.

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