Imagine waking up to headlines about a school attack in Canada, only to find the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) referring to the perpetrator as a gunperson. That’s exactly what happened after Tuesday’s incident at Tumbler Ridge Secondary School in British Columbia, where authorities held a presser describing the suspect in the most hilariously neutered, gender-neutral terms possible. No shooter, no gunman—just a vague gunperson, as if the English language’s arsenal of precise descriptors has been confiscated alongside everyone’s rifles. This isn’t just bureaucratic word salad; it’s a masterclass in Canadian euphemism, softening the edges of a violent crime to fit the nation’s post-2020 firearms crackdown narrative.
For the 2A community, this is gold-standard satire material with a sharp undercurrent of warning. Canada’s gun laws have escalated from mere registration to outright confiscation under Trudeau’s regime—Bill C-21 alone redefined assault-style weapons to include everything from AR-15s to some hunting rifles—yet here we are, with gunperson emerging as the new lexicon to avoid offending… pronouns? It’s a stark reminder of how language control precedes policy control: dehumanize the tool (and now the user) to justify disarming law-abiding citizens while criminals roam free. In the U.S., where school safety debates rage, this Canadian absurdity underscores why the Second Amendment isn’t about hunting or sport—it’s a bulwark against governments that rewrite reality to erode rights. Watch as outlets like CBC amplify this sanitized spin, priming the pump for more restrictions south of the border via imported hysteria.
The implications? 2A advocates should meme this relentlessly—Gunperson vs. the Patriarchy—to highlight the absurdity and rally support. It exposes how anti-gun zealots prioritize feelings over facts, turning tragedy into theater. While prayers go out to Tumbler Ridge victims and families, let’s not forget: in a nation where even cops can’t say shooter, self-defense is the ultimate redundancy. Stay vigilant, America—our words, and weapons, still mean something.
